How to Bless the Single

I speak for myself when I write this. I haven't done research or polls. Just me. When I note the "vast majority" I do refer to those I have had the opportunity to commune with and know. This is a disease to cure. This is a part of the body to love on.

photo credit: myself with AdobePost

Community With Us

I have tasted true community. Community, how I believe God designed His body to have. It is a vital part of growth and as a single, essential. Participate in community with us. I speak for a vast majority of singles when I say, we don't want to be surrounded by other singles exclusively. We want the Body and all its parts. Young, old, married, parents, widowed, everything. Allow us to love on your kids, share your struggles with us, have meals with us, go to parades, celebrate birthdays, do life in all its parts. As the family of Christ we are called to love on the various parts of family. Be that family for us and in turn, we will to you.

So reach out to someone around you, in your church, a neighbor, a co-worker who is single and invite  them over, have them for dinner, have them help you with a project. Let me be clear, I love kids and have always been good with them. Because of this I have been sought after as a sitter the vast majority of my life. As a 25 year old single lady I don't always want to be called on to babysit. Sometimes we enjoy participating in the studies, nights out, clean up projects, event preparation, etc.

Don't Lessen Our Trials

This can be one of the trickiest parts to communing together. Trials. There are two camps to be in; those that keep all trials to themselves, and those that share openly as if they are the only ones to struggle. So many times I have been told, "Oh girl, you have it so easy right now. Enjoy." I had to remind a friend complaining about being poor with her hubby that some people wish they were poor with a hubby. When I am told that I have it "easy" it is like a kick in the gut. I really struggle with hearing this.

Instead, a better way would be to listen, ask to pray, and return the vulnerability. Then ask about it later. Connect.

Set Us Up

This sounds old school of me but I am totally open to someone saying to a friend that they know me and think they would get along. Keep in mind you are not setting up a marriage but connecting two otherwise single people for encouragement. If nothing else, blessing others with that connection is awesome. We won't be mad at you if nothing results of a message, text, or even dinner. That's not the point but we need other influences sometimes to encourage us towards one another.

Don't Tell us our Singleness is a Gift

It sounds harsh. And I am sorry but this is one of the biggest issues I have with being single. So many people want to preach one sermon to me. One. My singleness is a gift. It is true these days are such a gift. But your days are a gift too. So is the lady fixing her husband's breakfast, or the mother instructing phonics to her tots, or the pastor leading the congregation in worship. Every day you wake God has given you a gift, life. Stop negating your gift to elevate mine for the sake of "encouraging me" to carpe diem. Nothing gets to me faster than that.

A better way to encourage us is to find out what we are passionate about. Join us in our passions, pray with us about them, participate, ask questions. If we seem to be waffling with out drive help us find out. I admit there are those of us out there that would rather wallow in our self-centered pity and not do what it takes to live but that's not true for the majority of us.

So, you're saying it's not much different than loving on any other part of the body? Yes. Yes, that is exactly what I am saying.