Wednesday, March 1, 2017

March comes in like a lion!

[February Goals] RECAP

Verse of the month: Matthew 6:25-34

'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"

I confess I did not meditate and soak this verse in as much as I did last month's. That is something I hope to do better this coming month. It did, however, birth an idea. Details to come! 

Word(s) of the month: enjoy and love

I think these words were very clear and evident. I enjoyed so much this month and loving others was just what this heart needed to do! 

Random - 
  1. Spreadin' the love! I'm purposing to reach out to at least one person with some act of intentionality every day. This wasn't as successful as I had hoped. The month quickly got away from me being busy with a lot of things. I did get a good portion of my ideas done but not all. I hope to still finish the list even if it isn't when I planned to.
  2. Weather and time permitting I'm hoping to put in at least 2 hours of walking a week. I hurt my knee so running is out (for now!) but I want to maintain the walking! I know that I got in a good portion of time walking. I didn't count. I was given a BellaBeat for my birthday (thanks mom!) so I hope to be able to chart it better. 
  3. Work up to a minute plank! This was a success and I am so proud! I have downloaded a plank app and I am going to take a step back and complete the advanced challenge through that, it starts at 30, and work my way up to longer! 
What was a good thing that happened this month? 
My nephew was born! WashingtonBear! Perfect little bundle! 

No, his name isn't just is when Aunt Hottie is calling him! 

What entertainment was good this month?
We restarted Christy. I mean, classic! 

What book was great this month?
Would I be cheating if I had the same answer as last month?

What food was good this month?
My birthday lunch! Yum!!! 

What did I let go of this month?
  • another couple pounds
  • 3 bags of clothes
  • my need for caffeine
What did I gain this month?
  • the ability to do a minute long plank
  • an aloe vera plant
  • a double ear infection and a nasty cold that won't go away
On to March! 

[March Goals]

Verse of the month: Matthew 7:7-11

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

Words of the month: grow

Random - 
  1. do an original greek study on the phrase Kingdom of Heaven said so many times throughout Matthew to understand what it means. 
  2. complete a 30 days of Bible lettering
  3. Begin Lent
  4. Finish Matthew and pray about the next book
  5. Complete two projects for friends
  6. work up to a minute an a half long plank
  7. 2 hours of walking a week
  8. one more blog post other than the monthly goals
Happy March! 

Thursday, February 2, 2017

hello February!

This is arguably my favorite month of the year. Not only because it contains my birthday, mind you! I love valentines day, I love the weather, I love the fact that it's short, I love February!

So as I welcome my favorite month I wanted to take a moment to glance back at January and where I am with my goals. As I mentioned in my New Year's post, I will not be tackling a year at a time. I will be taking each month and setting goals for that month. Over time it may produce a very futuristic plan forming that I will need to accomplish things monthly. For now, I'm learning to to surrender my days to the One that created them and accomplishing what He sets before each step.

On to the goals!

[January goals] RECAP

verse of the month: Isaiah 43:18-19

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Choosing to have a verse of the month was probably my favorite decision of 2017 thus far. It was so precious and dear to have a piece of God's Word He had revealed to my heart to meditate on and to look to this month. I repeated these words in more days than I didn't and I cherished the ways He confronted my mind and comforted my heart. 

word of the month: surrender

At the time choosing surrender was because I had been convicted and yet still CLUNG to the things I wanted. It was a dangerous grip that blinded me to receiving the wonderful things He had for me. Letting go and letting God is such cliché but in this month a beautiful surrender. I didn't always do well but that wasn't the point! Because I cringe when reading super ambiguous posts about things, the practical ways I did this was by confessing my sin in refusing to change my thinking when my thoughts were turned from Him. Sometimes this was a daily thing, frequently it was a weekly thing. Beyond that I chose to praise Him because He has not brought about the things I have been wanting. 

Random - 

  1. drinking the recommended water for my body everyday of the month. This was almost 100% successful. There was one weekend I wasn't able to and that was ok. I made sure to do so the following Monday! 
  2. Not using my phone after I'm in bed on the nights before work. This was an awesome success! I have replaced my "unwind" need with podcasts and, let me tell you, I can recommend a few good ones! 

What was a good thing that happened this month? 
We pulled off an awesome surprise 16th birthday for my youngest sister and it was so much fun! 

What entertainment was good this month?
The Crown! Oh my gracious! I love that show. 

What Book was great this month?
I've been in Matthew and I have loved reintroducing myself to the person Jesus. See how He loved, responded, was. I think my heart needed to refocus on the one the entirety of Scripture points to and the One the Good News is based in.  

What food was good this month?
I went to the Jewish Food Festival with my sisters and tried Knish! So. yum! 

What did I let go of this month?
  • 5+ lbs
  • the need to workout at a certain time
  • a BUNCH of clothes and this is an ongoing process!
What did I gain this month?
  • a desire to meet my Jesus in the morning
  • an appreciation for water! 
  • a love for tumeric lattés
Ok, new month! 

[February goals]

verse of the month: Matthew 6:25-34

'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"

Word(s) of the month: enjoy and love

Random - 
  1. Spreadin' the love! I'm purposing to reach out to at least one person with some act of intentionality every day. 
  2. Weather and time permitting I'm hoping to put in at least 2 hours of walking a week. I hurt my knee so running is out (for now!) but I want to maintain the walking!
  3. Work up to a minute plank

Happy February and Happy Valentine's Day! 

Sunday, January 8, 2017

2016: a succesful fail

"From failure we learn, from success, not so much." Lewis (Meet the Robinsons)

"Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success." C.S. Lewis

Like most of the human population I was ready to kiss 2016 goodbye right along with Mariah Carey's performance. I was happy to see a year filled with so much grief come to a close and I was happier still to not think upon it any longer.

However, that would have made a failure of epic proportions. Not the kind that has the potential for growth. Not the kind that produces a lightbulb, but an actual failure with painful, residual effects featuring an infectious wound. If I allowed the negative of 2016 to blot out the wonderful memories than I would have thrown away the gift of the last 365 days God has granted me.

I would miss thanking Him for the wonderful family vacation we took in September relaxing and enjoying each other.

Or the time I spent one on one with my biggest nephews on their birthday dates.

Or getting lost in a sunflower field and LOVING it!

Or spending a summer working for my grandparents learning of their first jobs, first kiss, first home, and walking hand in hand through the hellish disease that is alzheimers/dementia.

Or watching my student graduate and feeling the heart bursting, joy running-out-your-eyes pride that was inexplicable!

Or spending my working hours with these two, despite whatever challenges our days hold!

Or having a blast at Kingsfest with my younger two sisters! Nothing like worshipping with Rend Collective live while side by side with your sisters in life and in Christ!

Or the weekend I spent with these babies!

Or the many afternoons spent with this kid!

Or the many times this guy came for a visit!

Or packing in so many memories with all five grands!

Or feeling lead back to church after my break up last fall after four months waffling from place to place. Knowing this was the body God was calling me to worship and serve with was such a blessing.

Or, even though life is insane, we were able to squeeze in our Christmas traditions!

Or the spring break I spent at my sister's enjoying their company and getting lost in DC.

Or the fact that I got to go see the Nutcracker (which I have always wanted to do)!!

Or the fact that I got to witness and participate in my parent's biggest step of faith I've witnessed in my lifetime by opening the coffee shop! Watching them pour hours and energy and thought into serving the people of this city coffee and showing them Jesus. I've burst with pride time and time again watching them be used and, in their exhaustion, fully rely on the God that lead them this far!

I started 2016 determined to seek joy in efforts to move past my break up last fall. However, I spent the better part of year working my tail off to seek joy. I tried so hard to be joyful and happy and by the year mark of the break up I realized I was still seeking fulfillment in the feeling accompanied instead of the God that supplies that joy.

I learned in 2016 to forget seeking joy and instead seek the creator and giver of joy. The One that desires I abide in Him. The one that will take my heart and grow and cultivate the joy that I so blindly was seeking.

Here I stand on the banks of the new year well aware that I am weak and in need of a Savior. I'm so thankful to know that Savior personally and to take on the coming days abiding in Him. I'm not a master at this...I would have to wager I've barely gotten a kindergarten education in the matter but I am confident in this, He holds this moment and the next 365 days of moments.

This year I decided to take on "resolutions" a bit differently. I'm not anti-resolutions, just not a huge fan of them. They have a stigma and for good reasons. However I do value a good goal setting and accomplishment plan. So, with that said, I will be taking it month by month. Leaning evermore on the Father that made me and these days and doing with them what He brings in full assurance that I will fail at times. But, thankful it's not about that anyway.

[J A N U A R Y goals]

verse of the month: Isaiah 43:18-19

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

word of the month: surrender


  1. drinking the recommended amount of water for my body every day of the month.
  2. not using my phone after I'm in bed on the nights before work.
If I happen to accomplish more, great. If not, that is fine with me. I'm learning that over achieving isn't a requirement for living. Enjoy every moment as it comes isn't either but it's worth it to try! 

Happy New Year readers! 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

365 thanks

"My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody." Psalm 57:7

"O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!" 1 Chronicles 16:34

  1. Salvation
  2. My amazing family! 
  3. My home
  4. My bed; my bed is amazing!
  5. This nephew
  6. and this one
  7. and this one
  8. and this one!
  9. And this niece
  10. My jobs
  11. This baby
  12. and this boy!
  13. my Bible
  14. My city
  15. An amazing Church family
  16. having three of my four grandparents still living
  17. Lots of cousins
  18. lots of aunts 
  19. and uncles
  20. my car
  21. my fuzzy slippers
  22. kombucha
  23. creativity
  24. chalk paint! 
  25. my church
  26. cinnamon rolls
  27. weddings
  28. fettuccine alfredo
  29. hair pins
  30. different languages
  31. friends from all over the earth
  32. MacBooks
  33. comfy blankets
  34. pumpkin flavored anything
  35. lomo saltado (look it up!)
  36. different races  
  37. almonds 
  38. facetime
  39. texting
  40. this sister 
  41. this sister
  42. this sister
  43. and this one!
  44. lemon juice
  45. grilled food! 
  46. fresh fruits 
  47. and veggies
  48. clean drinking water!
  49. soap
  50. fun movies
  51. good babies
  52. ice
  53. Godly marriages
  54. yard work
  55. the art of growing things
  56. fall
  57. snow
  58. gelato
  59. Christmas lights
  60. warm showers
  61. my mom
  62. my dad
  63. fuzzy socks
  64. fires
  65. tires
  66. automatic transmissions 
  67. years of babysitting
  68. sun screen
  69. the beach
  70. the mountains
  71. stainless steal cups
  72. brothers and sisters in Christ
  73. doctors
  74. essential oils
  75. air conditioner
  76. policemen and women
  77. sun flowers
  78. forgiveness
  79. redemption
  80. strawberries
  81. pigs! =) 
  82. different trees
  83. different flowers
  84. living close to the nation's capitol
  85. apple orchards
  86. walks outdoors
  87. sunsets
  88. firemen and women
  89. oil diffusers
  90. Aldi's
  91. retractable pencils
  92. papermate fine tip markers
  93. cricut machines
  94. Wegmans
  95. different colors
  96. trash services
  97. the mail system
  98. winter coats
  99. pencil skirts
  100. hope
  101. boots
  102. fun scarves
  103. projects
  104. crafts
  105. youtube! ;) 
  106. fun bags
  107. deep cleaning
  108. pillows
  109. chamomile
  110. pinterest
  111. eucalyptus
  112. hymns
  113. vinegars
  114. scripture
  115. God's gentle pursuit 
  116. handlettering
  117. adoption
  118. this song
  119. and this one!
  120. hair cuts
  121. BBQ
  122. coffee
  123. new friends
  124. old friends
  125. books
  126. history
  127. different animals 
  128. dictionaries
  129. cute wreaths
  130. magnolia trees
  131. pictures
  132. beach trips
  133. mission trips
  134. fresh goat's milk
  135. time with my whole family
  136. promises of the future
  137.  grace
  138. yard trimmers
  139. soccer
  140. hair ties
  141. hair brushes
  142. pillows
  143. crochet
  144. toilet paper
  145. popcorn
  146. washing machines
  147. and dryers!
  148. fixer upper
  149. clean socks
  150. comfy chairs/couches
  151. our founding fathers
  152. leggings
  153. color changing leaves
  154. confirmation for my heart
  155. healing
  156. pizza
  157. shampoo 
  158. giving presents
  159. hugs
  160. charge cords
  161. calendars
  162. the Cross
  163. the EMPTY grave
  164. pecan pie
  165. norwex rags
  166. mums
  167. wii
  168. organization
  169. family heirlooms 
  170. wise use of money
  171. my neighbors
  172. wisdom
  173. mercy
  174. homeschooling
  175. books
  176. art
  177. carpet
  178. vacuums
  179. music
  180. bandaids 
  181. mirrors
  182. birthdays
  183. celebrations
  184. jewelry
  185. rain
  186. chipotle
  187. wifi
  188. new babies
  189. fingers
  190. chapstick
  191. fingernail polish
  192. school
  193. teeth
  194. that this world is not my home
  195. indoor plumbing
  196. sunglasses
  197. sweatshirts
  198. cell phones
  199. toothbrushes 
  200. creation being told in God's Word
  201. sunshine
  202. lamps
  203. maps
  204. candles
  205. Hobby Lobby
  206. google
  207. beauty through scars
  208. time
  209. Hanover canned green beans
  210. sweet potatoes
  211. pasta
  212. sippy cups
  213. pastors
  214. walmart
  215. thrift stores
  216. ultrasounds
  217. generations
  218. modern road systems
  219. clouds
  220. ovens
  221. swimming pools
  222. medicines
  223. my heart
  224. hard work
  225. antiques
  226. flip flops
  227. siri
  228. coconut oil
  229. hot tubs
  230. IKEA
  231. glasses
  232. spices
  233. pi
  234. etymology 
  235. different cultures
  236. microwaves
  237. thick blankets on a cold night
  238. almond joys
  239. good deals
  240. clear skies where you can see all the stars
  241. sense of smell
  242. sense of sight
  243. sense of touch
  244. sense of hearing
  245. my lungs
  246. cheese
  247. facebook
  248. chevron
  249. makeup
  250. disposable diapers
  251. my town's Christmas parade
  252. chalkboards
  253. new recipes
  254. pickles
  255. kitchenaid mixers
  256. green bean casserole
  257. beauty in nature
  258. rain
  259. stoplights
  260. curling irons
  261. my brain
  262. blenders
  263. kitchen knives
  264. dishwashers
  265. cameras
  266. hair bows for little girls
  267. email
  268. newspaper
  269. blueberry muffins
  270. iced lattes
  271. instagram
  272. notebooks
  273. prayer
  274. ceiling fans
  275. red and yellow beets
  276. lace
  277. Tim Tebow
  278. difference in animals
  279. towels
  280. yogurt
  281. pajamas
  282. zucchini
  283. keds
  284. mason jars
  285. pinecones
  286. leaf blowers
  287. dentists
  288. toasters
  289. apple butter
  290. pad thai 
  291. earrings 
  292. fun necklaces
  293. old houses
  294. eggs
  295. pomegranates 
  296. fresh cut grass
  297. the prophecies fulfilled by Jesus
  298. blogging
  299. maxi skirts
  300. sushi
  301. carseats
  302. God's design
  303. antique window panes
  304. antique my doors
  305. glass door knobs
  306. family time
  307. research
  308. room darkening shades
  309. sun visors
  310. shopvacs
  311. baby carriers
  312. exercise 
  313. rain boots
  314. the color yellow
  315. utility vests
  316. fire pits 
  317. memories
  318. handmade gifts
  319. clean sheets
  320. communities of believers
  321. my oil diffuser necklace
  322. charts
  323. lists
  324. sweaters
  325. lotion
  326. natural deodorants without aluminum or parabens
  327. Fridays
  328. where I live
  329. tater tots
  330. cooking creativity
  331. family stories
  332. tissues
  333. Chick-fil-a
  334. nicknames
  335. God's promises
  336. a good night's sleep
  337. airplanes
  338. la croix
  339. earphones
  340. hand sanitizer
  341. xray machines
  342. home videos
  343. messy buns
  344. noisy dining room tables
  345. pistachios 
  346. settlers of catan
  347. lawn mowers
  348. mashed potatoes
  349. thieves oil
  350. electricities
  351. fingernail clippers
  352. amber necklaces
  353. Mrs. Yoders donuts
  354. lularoe
  355. sandpapers 
  356. netflix
  357. a good laugh 
  358. God's plan when I don't understand
  359. God's redemption when I don't feel it
  360. God's love when I don't deserve it
  361. God's gift of 365 days
  362. God's promise that He's with me through the next
  363. God's hope that He still holds the best yet to come
  364. God's joy when I can't process any of it
  365. God's gifts of moments, treasures, time, and peace in it all  
I'm thankful for this year. I'm thankful it's behind me. I'm thankful this Thanksgiving is more joyful than last. I'm thankful for the things on this list and I'm thankful that God has created in me a heart of gratitude. 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Monday, November 21, 2016

in You I find my hope

I was recently asked what my hopes and dreams were for the coming 5 years to a decade. I responded by stating that I was already not where I imagined myself five years ago so I'm learning to just hang on for the ride and whatever God has in mind. I know my answer caused some surprise or even concern that I didn't care enough to "try." But please understand, the opposite couldn't be more true. So for the sake of a currently very bold AH let's just jump into it.

I dream of marrying my best friend. I dream of learning more about each other and the God we serve while falling in love. I dream about being asked to be his. I dream of planning forever. I dream about "I do." I dream about serving along side of my husband in whatever capacity God has in mind. I dream of feeling exhausted, drained, and thrilled as we discover the ways we will love Jesus while serving others.

I dream of having and adopting babies. I dream of calling them mine and not having to send them home at the end of the day. I dream of traveling miles or blocks to add a new addition. I dream of rocking them to sleep, helping them walk, and hearing them talk. I dream of watching them grow. I dream of actually celebrating a mother's a mother. I dream of teaching them about the world God made, our history, and how to spell chrysanthemum.

I hope to have my own home. I dream of welcoming young and old, rich and poor, friend or stranger through the doors. I dream of decorating with hand-me-down pieces and making do with what I'm given. I dream of painting walls and pulling up carpet. I dream of dishes in my cabinets and meals in my oven.

But God's dreams for me are not the same I have for myself. I don't want to be a Martyr Moe but if I'm so focused on my dreams instead of living the life God has given me I will be sorely disappointed and bitter with my Father. So I choose not to dwell on those things. I still desire them. They are still dreams. But my focus is entirely somewhere else. Why? Because this...

For starters, my value and my fulfillment will never be found in a husband, or kids, or a job, or a business, or anything else. If I am unable to truly see my value through the eyes of the cross then I will never adequately be able to serve God. Not currently or in any hope or dream. If I never become a wife or a mom my value doesn't decrease or increase. I was bought by the precious blood of Jesus, I was redeemed by His relentless love, and I was restored by His great plan and purpose. I am already ridiculously gifted with a life I don't deserve that will ultimately result in my forever spent praising the One that provided it for me.

Secondly, why would I spend my time preparing for something that God may never produce in my life? Why would I waste years I could be joyfully serving Him in whatever ways He brings by pining for a life He isn't bringing? This is where the Martyrdom may appear to come into play. Believe me when I say, it doesn't. What if these dreams I have aren't anything more? What if I'm never intended to be blessed in that way? My obedience, my joyful obedience is to the call of the cross. Because friends, in the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, it bids me come, and die. Die to my wants, my desires, my, dare I say, hopes. Die to live freely in Him.

So, my goals for the next 5 to 10 years, you ask?

Live. Live obediently. Joyfully. And gratefully for every moment He brings, every adventure He plans, every job He provides, and every dream He may, or may not fulfill.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

love Trumps hate?

The responses that have come out since Tuesday's election has been disheartening at best. Peers, acquaintances, parents, friends, throwing fits and tantrums over the results. More sad than the candidates running has been the outcry of rage against the results. I have watched as inner toddlers have not only leaked, but spilled all over the ground in protests. It's sad. Just sad.

Let me be clear. I didn't vote for Trump. I cannot in good conscience back and support a man that is in most ways unfit as presidential material. He has bashed and slandered many people groups, several representing people I love dearly. He is racist. He is arrogant. He is rude. He thinks he knows how to do this job that he picked up as a hobby. And he is now my president. So regardless of how much I do not like him, I must respect him. He is now the leader of my country, set in place by my God. 

I can't begin to describe to you the stomach ache this election caused. Probably not only in me but in several others. This wasn't an easy thing to participate in. But let me remind you, we have the privilege and responsibility to participate. We are allowed to vote. We have a voice.

Now that those voices have been heard and the count taken we are all dumb founded and angry. Let me break something to you. Just because you vote on something doesn't mean you will win. It means that you stated who you think should win. But instead of lining up to congratulate the opposing team the whole of the other side has stomped off the field in protest. Whining and crying the whole way.

Let me be completely honest. It's ridiculous. Is all this really going to change anything? I know it has changed one thing and that is my perception of Clinton supporters. When President Obama was elected in 2008 there was a lot of sadness and distress among the right side conservatives. It was a weight to know the country was taking a hard liberal turn left and it was ride or die. Four years later he won re-election and the conservatives of this country had to hold on for another wild ride. But never in those eight years did the whole of those conservatives vandalize, protest, or fight against the president elect. Struggle? Absolutely. Disagree wholeheartedly with his policies and laws? You bet. I am sure there were plenty that blatantly disapproved of the authority this country had but I don't recall watching news segments or reading articles that described the extent that Clinton followers have taken mere days to accomplish. For the sake of fairness I'm sure there are a few Clinton supporters that aren't kicking and screaming on the ground. It's only fair that I say as much. But if during Obama's election and re-election the conservative right siders had stated a fraction of what has come out of their counter parts have this time they would have been called racist, bigots, arrogant, heartless, rude, judgmental, Christians.

I came across this event on Facebook and every ounce of sad flooded my body.

I firmly believe this is going to happen. And this isn't a small event. Thousands have responded. Thousands are shunning him as president and thousands are gearing up to fight against what the majority of the country voted for. Thousands. 

To comment on an earlier point, let me be clear that I did not vote for Clinton either. I could not back and support the murder of thousands of more lives from babies to soldiers and the concealing of such things by the delete of an email. I could not back and support her stand on marriage, woman's rights, and "progress" as the outrage of supporters keep talking about. Her "progress" was not something I was interested in. 

But in complete fairness and in all sincerity, if the votes had been in her favor I would have to respect her as the leader of this country. I would not have been able to get behind her, support her, or agree with any of her policies but she would be the authority that was set in place but God. I would have had to respect that authority. 

As it stands, here we are. In two months President Trump will take office and the country will stay the same. We will still be the same America we were. The same broken people in need of Jesus and His grace. The same racism that was there before will still be there. The same segregation that was there before will still be there. And the left side will always stand opposite the right side with some stragglers in between unsure where to stand. 

So I have some things to say,

To Mr. Trump, I pray you're able to do this job. I pray that you are humbled by the sheer weight of responsibility you have just picked up. I pray that God brings you to your knees and uses you in mighty ways. I pray that you are able to regain some conservative values and principals this country was built on all while loving the other side well and without judgements and harsh criticism. I pray that you are able to recognize and own up to the uncalled for and irresponsible things you have said to and about other people and become a leader this country needs. 

To Mr. Pence, I want to say that I thank God Mr. Trump chose you as a running mate and VP. I pray that as you back and support Mr. Trump in his presidency that you are able to maintain your belief in the risen Savior and your dedication to obedience to Him. I pray that you always seek Him in what you choose to do and that you advise Mr. Trump towards things of Him. 

To the mourning Clinton fans, I pray that you are softened and able to respect a president you didn't choose. I pray that you are able to see that beyond presidential preferences and parties we are all human. I pray that you are able to see beyond the things that Clinton was going to "give you" and see to the pain that it could have caused you. I pray that you are able to in some ways move on past this election and be able to take the next four years with some grace. 

To myself, I pray that I am able to support and back a president I do not care for. I pray that I am able to love on those who are mad at said president and show Jesus to them in an unassuming, non-patronizing way. I pray that as things change over the next four years I am able to see pain around me and love on others where that pain is...not expect them to be happy. I pray that I am able to pray for the president and the whole party. I pray that I am able to come to the Father with requests for His glory in their lives and not for their renouncement. 

To this country, I pray we once again become great. I pray that as a whole we can recognize the ways that have become quicksand around our ankles. I pray that we are able to be one country under God again.  


...the greatest is love...

...I am nothing without love... is patient, kind, gentle, not self-seeking, not arrogant, not rude, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...

So yes. Love does trump hate.

Monday, November 7, 2016

the [almost] missed blessing

You guys, this is the sweetest creature I've ever encountered. She is ever ready with a smile. An amazing sleeper. Great eater. Happy player. Over all an amazing child.

I'm not blinded. I know this child was born with a human nature like the rest of us but gracious this lady baby is such a blessing. A blessing I almost missed.

A blessing the Lord had been preparing for me that I almost didn't get to encounter.


A year ago my life was headed in a very different direction. After working for the same family for five years I was on the cusp of marriage which meant moving to the other side of the city. It would have been a foolish move, financially speaking, to continue with this job living where I was going to be. Plus, he didn't want me working as we had hoped to start a family soon after the "I do's."

Almost a year ago plans changed in the blink of an eye. At the time the only thing I could see was the life that just dissolved in front of me. My heart ached as I watched dreams and plans crumble. But this isn't about that. This story is about almost missing this because at the time the hurt was the only thing I saw and felt.

One day I sat talking to this baby and listening to her giggles and it dawns on me. He's blessing my days by my caring for this child. He sent a bit of joy wrapped up in a little girl. I wouldn't have ever met her had I gone through with what I wanted. Now I get to soak up days of this blessing. They may be long. I may clean up more puke than I care to recall. I can constantly smell baby on me somewhere. She's a pretty big deterrent to single male attention. (haha!) But she is such a blessing. This lady baby. This girl! Such a blessing.

Happy Monday Everyone! Enjoy my happy girl!

Sunday, August 7, 2016 July 2016

*looking at panty hose*
"No nonsense: control top. I wonder what that means."

"25 miles per hour. 25 miles per hour." I was going 19 mph. 

Fixing his fourth cup of coffee, "I don't understand the attraction of coffee on people all over."

Him: "Do you know my darling very well?"
Me: "Yes sir. She's my grandmother."
Him: *Look of shock* "Well, how did that happen?!"

Taking the last sip of his milk...
Me: "would you like some more milk to finish off your lunch."
Him: putting his glass down, "no, that will be plenty. 
30 seconds later, picks his glass back up and looks in. 
Him: "get me just a taste more milk."

Him: "What church do you go to?"
Me: "R****** Church."
Him: "R****** what church?"
Me: "Just R****** Church."
Him: "No baptist. Shame."

Monday, July 25, 2016

#healthFULLlife .::Why I'm Doing This::.

I realized I started three or four posts stemming from one topic without addressing the main point to begin with. So, I decided to dial back a bit and really give a broad scope of what it is I am doing and why in the mess I am doing it! So, grab a seat and let's dive right in!

In the recent years I feel like there has been a new surge of doing the best for your body, surroundings, mind, etc. How to rid toxins from just about every square inch around you. What you should and shouldn't be eating. Where you should and shouldn't eat (and I don't mean particular restaurants). What you can eat together, what you should shower in, washing your hair, not washing your hair, meat equals good, grains equals bad, hand lotion is slowly poisoning you, live with the mold because cleaners are killing you, and the list could go on.

I don't mean to blast any of these methods. I myself love me some essential oils and kombucha but I feel like in our efforts to make this life the best we possibly can we forget to remember two things: #1 - judgement comes at a price. It makes you stressed and the judged belittled. There is no good or healthy thing that comes from it. #2 - we have forsaken health for the idea of ideas, opinions, and research.

My mom always told me growing up that she and my dad always expected my best. They never wanted perfect, just my best. I heard a quote the other day that simply stated, " there is a big difference between your best and the best. The best is a matter of opinion, but your best is everything." So cliche but so true. We aren't called to have the best of anything and yet we cast shifty eyes and judging glances when our best contradicts someone else's best. Wrong. So wrong.

In my efforts to unwind all this I wanted to sort out and figure what would be my best. How do I feel I can honor God in my body with what I've been given. As I started unpacking this I came up with so many facets this includes. When I begun to break it all down I realized there were categories that needed to be established to make this list work.

So, what do I mean by the #healthFULLlife ? Just that. Healthy, full, and living.

Here are my categories:
  • Body
  • Money 
  • Spiritually
  • Relationships
Body: This category may need some subcategories. It is pretty broad and because of that it covers a lot of topics. It includes what I put in my body, what I put on my body, and what I do with my body. So that means food, medications, skin care, hair care, teeth care, makeup, exercise, etc. This is why I feel like it may need to be streamlined but for now we will keep it as is! 

Money: This includes taking jobs, turning down jobs, what I put into jobs, organization of my money and spending, saving, and preparing for the future. 

Spiritually: A number of years back I was convicted that my walk was merely a checklist of things I had to get it all done. If I had all my checkmarks I was good for the day. Relationship was void and my heart motive wasn't how can I glorify and enjoy the Father. It was what do I still have left to do? When my heart was confronted I sought to connect with the Father and get rid of my lists. In doing so I realized I have lost discipline in passage memory and prayer. So, this topic includes setting up a disciplined structure of memorizing scripture and prayer.

Relationships: I wish that this included ways for me to honor my spouse and how to respect him but it simply doesn't mean that. But that doesn't mean that God hasn't blessed me with relationships. I have been blessed with so many all around me. How can I better pour into these and bring growth to them? Blood family, church family, and others around me.

I'm not putting time limits or stipulations on this mainly because I want it to be a growth. Something that shapes naturally. I know that if I try to tackle all four of these and all their components at once I'll be overwhelmed and fail them all!

Comment away and join me! I'll be posting some lists coming soon to get going well!   

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Dear Grandpa,

I took this job not sure what to expect. I decided to blur the lines of granddaughter and caregiver so that I could help out and be able to have work this summer. I never expected the things I've experienced the last month. I confess, its making it harder for me to return to work at the end of the summer.

You don't know me. You can't remember my name from moment to moment. You don't know that I'm your granddaughter. I am not offended. It comes with the territory. Our conversations make endless loops of the same topics. Bringing up new conversation topics doesn't work, you change the subject quickly. You focus on three very pivotal parts of your life and I hear of them frequently. Asking you questions opens a door a little further into that mind of yours but not far. So, we keep it easy. The date, the weather, the car I drive, the occupation of my father, and the church I attend. Which you always comment to how quickly time passes, winter is coming, I should service it completely to keep it in working order, who exactly my father is, and great concern that my church doesn't have a "baptist" in the title.

I watch you piddle your days away. Your fingers are constantly looking for something to play with. A puzzle, a trinket, something, anything for you to figure out...or not. You drink sometimes four cups of coffee because the coffee on your breath isn't enough of a reminder that you finished one just ten to fifteen minutes ago.

You pace the square feet your confined to because I think the outside frightens you. Our walks are short. You never want to go more than two or three houses down. Tonight we didn't even make it the entire way. I watch you become overwhelmed quickly with any outing. Mamaw's walker, the car we are riding in, where we are going, why we are going there, keeping up with what we do, get, buy, or not. It's all a concern to you. You become preoccupied with details and you are easily frustrated by the fact that you can't remember. And then you admit it, and that's hard.

Grandpa, you married a good woman. A true woman of virtue. Undeniably. Sure she's frustrated sometimes, not sure what saint wouldn't be. But she handles it with such grace and beauty. She knows what you like in your coffee, what medication you take...and when, what kind of chicken you like, etc. For crying out loud she knows what part of the chicken makes you happy. Oh to know someone like the two of you know each other, my heart simply can't wait. You define the meaning of "in sickness and in health." You tell me frequently that you've "been married some fifty years now." Since you don't know who I am I don't have the heart to tell you it's been sixty plus. What a testimony.

I can recite your prayer, word for word, but I don't want you to change it. Yet, you become confused in the middle of your prayers recently. Sometimes you don't know where you are or what parts you've said and a mix of jumbled words and sounds later you say,"Amen."

I can pretty much tell you everything you're going to do and say from the moment my shift begins until it ends. I can premeditatedly answer all your questions but I won't.

If I leave anything out I can be sure it will be messed with or missing. Still figuring this one out. Like a puppy chewing my favorite shoes I've had to search for my keys, phone, favorite pens, and calendar. Luckily you haven't taken them far.

You are mesmerized by my computer and phone.

Anytime you don't know about something you tell me your "memory pattern skips around so much." I think it comforts you.

I watch you sleep frequently and that frightens me. You're 91 but I fear when you start acting your age. Not that I have a thing to be afraid of. You are one of the reasons I know the character of Jesus in His people. Your nickname, the energizer bunny, just has to prove true, right? I still want to introduce my husband to you and I want my babies to know you. I know you won't know and it won't make a mess of difference...but it will to me.

I hate seeing the mess of this world affect you. Sin caused this wretched disease. However, it is always a treat to be greeted as if it were the first time when you walk down the hall and see me...after I've been there for six hours. Everything is a novelty to you. The clouds in the sky, the trash on the road, any road sign...any of them.

You've taught me a lot in my twenty-six years but you've taught me more in the last six weeks and I'm sure more in the next six.

I know that there is no progress with this ridiculous condition. Ok. Fine. Whatever. But the brief moments, where you connect who I might be, are a treasure. I don't know what the rest of this will look like. I couldn't have even come up with what the past weeks contained. I know it will be an adventure. I know we'll never talk more in depth about things than we do already. I know there will never be talking you out of or changing your mind on anything. I know what my days will look like. That's ok.

I am ok with all of it because it's moments I'll never replicate or be able to make over.

Your granddaughter