2016: a succesful fail

"From failure we learn, from success, not so much." Lewis (Meet the Robinsons)

"Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success." C.S. Lewis

Like most of the human population I was ready to kiss 2016 goodbye right along with Mariah Carey's performance. I was happy to see a year filled with so much grief come to a close and I was happier still to not think upon it any longer.

However, that would have made a failure of epic proportions. Not the kind that has the potential for growth. Not the kind that produces a lightbulb, but an actual failure with painful, residual effects featuring an infectious wound. If I allowed the negative of 2016 to blot out the wonderful memories than I would have thrown away the gift of the last 365 days God has granted me.

I would miss thanking Him for the wonderful family vacation we took in September relaxing and enjoying each other.

Or the time I spent one on one with my biggest nephews on their birthday dates.

Or getting lost in a sunflower field and LOVING it!

Or spending a summer working for my grandparents learning of their first jobs, first kiss, first home, and walking hand in hand through the hellish disease that is alzheimers/dementia.

Or watching my student graduate and feeling the heart bursting, joy running-out-your-eyes pride that was inexplicable!

Or spending my working hours with these two, despite whatever challenges our days hold!

Or having a blast at Kingsfest with my younger two sisters! Nothing like worshipping with Rend Collective live while side by side with your sisters in life and in Christ!

Or the weekend I spent with these babies!

Or the many afternoons spent with this kid!

Or the many times this guy came for a visit!

Or packing in so many memories with all five grands!

Or feeling lead back to church after my break up last fall after four months waffling from place to place. Knowing this was the body God was calling me to worship and serve with was such a blessing.

Or, even though life is insane, we were able to squeeze in our Christmas traditions!

Or the spring break I spent at my sister's enjoying their company and getting lost in DC.

Or the fact that I got to go see the Nutcracker (which I have always wanted to do)!!

Or the fact that I got to witness and participate in my parent's biggest step of faith I've witnessed in my lifetime by opening the coffee shop! Watching them pour hours and energy and thought into serving the people of this city coffee and showing them Jesus. I've burst with pride time and time again watching them be used and, in their exhaustion, fully rely on the God that lead them this far!

I started 2016 determined to seek joy in efforts to move past my break up last fall. However, I spent the better part of year working my tail off to seek joy. I tried so hard to be joyful and happy and by the year mark of the break up I realized I was still seeking fulfillment in the feeling accompanied instead of the God that supplies that joy.

I learned in 2016 to forget seeking joy and instead seek the creator and giver of joy. The One that desires I abide in Him. The one that will take my heart and grow and cultivate the joy that I so blindly was seeking.

Here I stand on the banks of the new year well aware that I am weak and in need of a Savior. I'm so thankful to know that Savior personally and to take on the coming days abiding in Him. I'm not a master at this...I would have to wager I've barely gotten a kindergarten education in the matter but I am confident in this, He holds this moment and the next 365 days of moments.

This year I decided to take on "resolutions" a bit differently. I'm not anti-resolutions, just not a huge fan of them. They have a stigma and for good reasons. However I do value a good goal setting and accomplishment plan. So, with that said, I will be taking it month by month. Leaning evermore on the Father that made me and these days and doing with them what He brings in full assurance that I will fail at times. But, thankful it's not about that anyway.

[J A N U A R Y goals]

verse of the month: Isaiah 43:18-19

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

word of the month: surrender

Random-

1. drinking the recommended amount of water for my body every day of the month.
2. not using my phone after I'm in bed on the nights before work.

If I happen to accomplish more, great. If not, that is fine with me. I'm learning that over achieving isn't a requirement for living. Enjoy every moment as it comes isn't either but it's worth it to try! 

Happy New Year readers!