Snow Day Truths

I woke up to a snow day Monday which means my fashion choice doesn't go much past this.

Comfy to the max and so many cares not being given. Lately my days have been so full that I will take this snow day and really not feel a twinge of guilt. 

Because of my additional needs I have had to take on more work. For me that means working all. the. time. For the past two weeks it meant that I worked three positions back to back on Friday. By the time Monday morning rolls around I'm exhausted. 

I've been dealing with a lot of internalized anger about this situation. Mostly pointed at my ex and God. I was supposed to be picking out wedding colors and apartments, not insurance plans. I was supposed to be learning how to cook for just two, not how to balance two jobs...or more. I was supposed to be navigating days as a wife, not re-figuring my position as a single, again. These thoughts gave way to a caving feeling of inadequacy...and anger.

I have been carrying these packages as if they were scars that merited me some sympathy.

Oh God, ban my foolishness. How dare I sit wallowing in my "issues" as if they in any way had anything to do with me.

I was reading in John this morning and the timeliness of the Father poured through the pages. I found myself in John 9 as Jesus healed the blind man. His miracle was big for two reasons, and niether one of them because He made a man see. It was the Sabboth and why the man was this way in the first place that turned heads. The thunder of the miracle itself was stolen by hearts that had to address the underlying issue. Who sinned? Why wouldn't you wait until tomorrow morning? Gracious.

But. my. God.

I am not addressing the issue of the Sabboth because that's not where I am. But Jesus' answer to why he found himself blind to begin with. It's not about him. It never was. It's so that God's glory can radiate and shine through him. So that his depravity can illuminate the light of salvation to a world growing darker by the moments.

His blindness had no direct link to his sin or that of anyone else. It was set in place so that God could send His Son to spit in the dirt, reveal sight to a man blind from birth, and proclaim His greatness. He came to seek and to save the lost. So that the found could seek and praise the Savior forever. Although, I've said it before and I will say it again. We aren't puppets to be played. We haven't been some pawns on a board that are haphazardly moved over and out of the way. Precariously placed in situations to "figure" out. We have choices. That doesn't mess up the plan that God will have. He already knows our choices and the consequences that come with them.

I sat, smacked right between the eyes. My circumstances, my issues, my broken heart, all of it, has nothing to do with me. Nothing. Can I learn from it, absolutely. Can I gain wisdom, brokenness, insight? Sure, yes, and amen. But it isn't' about me. It's about His glory.

Is He getting the glory from my situation?  
Is He getting the glory from your situation?