5 Questions to Ask Your Preschooler

Having had Boogs for almost 5 years I have learned a thing or two about knowing a specific child. I have watched him grow up. I have learned his likes and dislikes, how he processes, how he thinks and responds, and how he reacts to situations. Now having him in preschool four mornings a week I am missing my time with him. So when I pick him up of course my first response is to discover everything he did while I wasn't with him. I would always as him the same question, how was school?

His response: "Good."
To which I would respond, "What did you do?"
He would say, "I don't know."

I began to get frustrated. You just left 5 minutes ago. How could you forget? You were just there! Sigh. But I begun to realize that he is just four. This was his response because he had a whole morning to capsule into one response. He couldn't categorize it. So I had to help him.

I came up with the idea to break down what could happen in my mornings with him and applied it to his time at school. I came up with these five questions.

Please keep in mind I am not a parent and I don't mean to offend anyone with this post. I, however, love my job and take interaction with kids seriously. 

photo credit: myself with AdobePost

What is something frustrating that happened today?

This gives him time to identify anything that caused him to be upset and bothered because it wasn't something he was happy with the outcome. It does two things: makes him bring up the parts where he didn't shine as brightly in the behavior department and feel like he and his thoughts are important to me. Some of his responses have been,

"Jackson didn't couldn't sit beside me at snack."
"Miss Barbra asked me to cut out the sheep."
"I didn't want to put my jacket on."

We are able to talk through where his behavior could have been better or how we can respond in the future.

What is something happy that happened today?
This allows him the opportunity to observe the good in his day. Sometimes it is this one question that launches us into a conversation that takes up the whole ride home. This question does a few things but the most importantly it keeps the focus on the good. My child, bless him, is prone to the negative. So this question keeps his focus on the whole picture, not just what is sad or frustrating. Some of his responses have been,

"I got star wars cheezits for snack."
"We had singing time this morning with Miss Holly."
"We got to play outside and Barett and me played star wars."

*catching a theme that star wars makes us happy?*

I am able to respond to the things that make him happy. It helps me to get to know this growing kid more and to be able to rejoice with him in these moments.

What is something sad that happened today?
Usually his initial, without thinking response is, "I wasn't sad today...well..."
He almost always jumps to him not being sad which negates my above comment about him being negative but he never admits, initially, to being sad. Once we talk for a minute he either settles on not being sad or that there was something. Sometimes the sad and frustrating things share a spot. Sometimes they are separate. The idea of this isn't to stress him out with answers but to get an idea about his day. Some of his responses have been,

"It was raining and that makes me sad. (it usually means he didn't go outside)"
"Jackson threw a block at my head."

This allows me to be sad with him in these moments and again to help him over come that sadness. Like the block incident, I needed to know about that. I wanted him to tell me. That was something to be sad about. But when it comes to situations like the rain I like to help him see that the rain is a good thing and that I register that the rain made him sad because he couldn't go outside and I could see how that could happen but that the rain is making the grass and flowers grow so that it is pretty when we get to go back out.

What is something silly/funny that happened today? 
This one almost always elicits a new story about name calling, joke telling, or story sharing. I personally love this question because his little personality comes through. It is also one of the quickest ways to see if he is in a bad mood. He will always respond one of two ways,

"Nothing silly happened" = I'm in a bad mood (this is usually answered by one of the other questions).
OR
"We were at snack and we made up silly words. A silly word I made up was 'gookakaboo.'"
"We told silly jokes."

We will tell jokes on the way home. As he delivers some four year old composed knock knock joke and I laugh we are connecting in ways that help his esteem and fun side.

The last thing I ask is...

What is something new that happened today?
I was tired of of hearing "nothing" or "I don't know" when asked what he did. But I realized that my questions never actually addressed what he did. This question allows him to take a look at his day. I was surprised when he was able to point on new things his brain learned. It surprised me. Some of his responses have been,
"I learned to draw the letter 'B.'"
"I learned go tell it on the mountain."

I have loved using these questions with him. It has made our car rides and lunch times so much more productive. We have been able to connect and he has been able to feel like he has something to say. He's never voiced as much but I have seen him be more open about things if I take the time to go to specific. He has even started turning them on me! Love that boy!